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A Laugh For The New Year


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#1 VEGAS LADY

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Posted 29 December 2006 - 12:56 PM

Many of us may think that we are a little stupid when it comes to working our computers, but read on.......Next to this bunch of people we are on a par with Einstein.

This is a collection of some of the silliest queries that call centre operators have had to deal with. They were published in one of our daily newspapers

OPERATOR: I need you to right-click on the open desktop.
CUSTOMER: OK
OPERATOR: Did you get a pop- up menue.
CUSTOMER: No
OPERATOR: OK. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menue.
CUSTOMER: No
OPERATOR: Can you tell me what you have done up until this point.
CUSTOMER: Sure. You told me to WRITE click and I WROTE click....... ph34r.gif


CALLER: The coffee cup holder on my computer is broken. Can I get a replacement please?
HELP DESK: I'm not sure what you mean. Where exactly is this coffee cup holder?
CALLER: Well there's a button on the front of my computer and when I press it a drinks caddy pops out, you know, its just like the ones they have in cars.
HELP DESK: Sir, I think you will find thats the CD slot.


TEENAGE CALLER: I wonder if you could help me.
HELP DESK: What's the problem?
TEENAGE CALLER: My dad bought me a computer last week, and I was taking out a CD when the phone rang. I was also eating a pizza. With the CD draw open, I set the pizza on it to pick up the phone.
HELP DESK: What happened then?
TEENAGE CALLER: Well, the CD draw took part of the Pizza inside the computer and now I can,t get the draw open. IT REALLY IS A BIG MESS. Can you help me?
HELP DESK: This is bad, very bad.
TEENAGE CALLER: Well I'm hungry. Can you help me get the pizza out...... ohmy.gif


A help desk took this call from a client having trouble with his print screen. After a lot of discussion, a technician was dispatched to his home.

CLIENT: My print screen feature will not work.
TECHNICIAN: I've tested it and it seems to be working fine.
CLIENT: Oh, let me try it again.

Client presses a blank sheet of paper against the monitor screen and then pushes the "Print Screen" key. Technician starts laughing.

CLIENT: Whats wrong?
TECHNICIAN: I'm sorry,but when you push the "Print Screen" key, the document comes out of your printer.


AND TO MY MIND THE BEST OF THE LOT.......... laugh.gif

CALLER: Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?
OPERATOR: Sorry Sir, I don't understand what you are talking about.
CALLER: In section 5 of the user guide, it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and TELEPHONE JACK before cleaning. Now can you give me the number for Jack.
OPERATOR: I think you mean the telephone scocket on the wall.


laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif biggrin.gif


Margaret


#2 Petals

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Posted 29 December 2006 - 04:27 PM

laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif

These are the best yet! Thanks for the laugh!

biggrin.gif

#3 Gigi

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Posted 29 December 2006 - 11:29 PM

laugh.gif Thanks Margaret. A great laugh and nice way to end this year.

Gigi

#4 katita

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Posted 30 December 2006 - 08:36 AM

How funny! and I thought my customers were dim bulbs! The most common questions I get from people are 'what does zero-f-f mean and what does zero-n mean - they are words OFF and ON - people don't know how to read anymore.

But I love Telephone Jack!!!! laugh.gif laugh.gif That's the funniest!

HAPPY LAUGH OUT LOUD NEW YEAR!!!



#5 Karin

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Posted 30 December 2006 - 02:05 PM

I just love the one about the coffee cup holder because I could sure use one - and an ashtray tongue.gif My keyboard is covered with ciggarette ash and I've spilled coffee over it on a number of occasions. I think it's about time computer makers start to think more practical when they design things biggrin.gif

Karin

#6 VEGAS LADY

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Posted 30 December 2006 - 06:44 PM

Lets hope that the PC makers come up with a cup holder attachment, sure would save me spilling water, tea and coffee onto the keyboard....

Margaret

Edited by VEGAS LADY, 30 December 2006 - 06:45 PM.


#7 Sandra

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Posted 07 January 2007 - 11:02 PM

You've got to be pulling both my legs !! I can't believe the stupidity of some folks . . . !! ohmy.gif

#8 MitziMay

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Posted 12 January 2007 - 10:49 AM

QUOTE(Sandra @ Jan 8 2007, 04:02 AM)
You've got to be pulling both my legs !!  I can't believe the stupidity of some folks . . . !!  ohmy.gif

View Post



Apologies if this is old hat but for those who have not read it before- hope you enjoy it!

The CAR versus WINDOWS

At a recent COMDEX computer conference, Bill Gates (of Microsoft) compared the
motor industry with the computer industry, and stated:

If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we'd all be
driving twenty-five dollar cars that get 1000 miles to a gallon.
--------------------------
In response, GM issued the following statement:

If GM had developed its technology like Microsoft, we'd all be driving cars
with the following characteristics:

For no good reason, your car would crash twice a day.

Every time the white lines on the road are repainted, you would need to buy a
new car.

Occasionally your car would die on the motorway, for no good reason. You just
accept this, restart, and drive on.

Occasionally, executing a particularly complex manoeuvre, such as a left turn,
your car would shutdown and refuse to restart. You would then have to
reinstall the engine.

Only one person at a time would be able to use your car, unless you bought Car
95 or Car NT, but then you would have to buy more seats.

All individual warning lights would be replaced by a single 'General
Protection Fault' light.

The airbag would ask "Are you sure?" before activating.

GM would require all drivers to buy a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps,
even although they neither need them or want them. Attempting to delete this
option would cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. (NOTE:
Rand McNally is a GM subsidiary company).

Every time GM introduced a new car, buyers would have to learn to drive all
over again, because none of the controls would operate in the same way as in
their old cars.

You would have to press the "Start" button to switch off the engine.

Now where do you want to go today.......?

MitziMay
ph34r.gif ph34r.gif ph34r.gif

#9 Karin

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Posted 12 January 2007 - 04:49 PM

Love it MitziMay laugh.gif laugh.gif My computer is driving me mad laugh.gif laugh.gif

Karin

#10 VEGAS LADY

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Posted 12 January 2007 - 06:32 PM


Thanks Mitzimay...... laugh.gif

I love the quote.......The airbag would ask "Are you sure" before activating... laugh.gif

My computer must ask me at least four times "Do you wish to sign off" it drives me insane ...... ph34r.gif

Margaret





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